Fuck Off and Stay Fucked Off

Recently my husband and I were at one of my family functions.  I offered my husband a plate of fruit; I didn’t hear him when he said no.  I asked him again, thinking he hadn’t heard me.  He responded, slightly exasperated, “I said No”.  To which I replied, rather sarcastically “Easy there, I didn’t hear you.”

Unbeknownst to me, a family member was watching.  I can’t stand this family member on a good day.  She said “OOOohhhh tempers are flying at that end of the table.”  I kept my mouth shut and shot her the dirtiest look.  I don’t think it’s any of her business to comment on my husband’s and my conversation.  For the record, I didn’t think tempers were flying at all.  We weren’t screaming at each other, we were just slightly, and I mean slightly, annoyed with each other.  I think that is perfectly NORMAL with spouses. 

My beef with this is her need to comment on EVERYTHING; RUDE, NASTY NEGATIVE COMMENTS.  And not just to me, to everyone around her.  Things that DO NOT PERTAIN TO HER.  In fact, she was the reason I switched blogs, as she snooped until she found out about my original blog.  I don’t talk about my life around her, as SHE HAS A COMMENT FOR EVERYTHING.   I am friends with her on Facebook, I would love to delete her but she would cause a family war over it.  I have all of my pictures and statuses protected from her seeing, she COMMENTS ON EVERYTHING.  Back handed compliments are her specialty.  If you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!!  Recently, Facebook did an upgrade to their Iphone apps, I was not aware that this changed my status and picture settings.  Within a day of this upgrade, I had 6, SIX comments on my stuff from her.  I couldn’t figure out how she was able to see everything.  We call her the Queen of the Refresh Button.  Who has time to stalk everyone’s pages, daily, to find out when settings have been changed????

I feel that every time I am in this person’s presence, she is judging me.  She judges everyone.  Most of her conversations are all about how “awful” so and so is.  I think she is very unhappy with herself.  She also has the bad habit of telling lies and trying to drive wedges between other family members.  The funny thing is, everyone knows what she is like so typically we talk it out with the person she is trying to cause a fight with.  If she had caught me on the wrong day I may have opened my mouth and said something that was VERY TRUE, but I didn’t think needed to be brought up at a family function and ruin everyone’s good time.  It’s funny that I am the only one who worries about ruining everyone’s good time, but she does not.  What I really wanted to say was PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN MARRIAGE.  DO NOT COMMENT ON MINE.  For the record, as I am being catty and venting here in the safety of my own blog: She has caught her husband in the middle of an affair.  She chooses to work it out, which that’s fine.  No marriage is perfect.  But when something clearly isn’t working in yours, do NOT make a mountain out of a mole hill in my marriage, when my husband and I have the slightest of words with each other, she shouldn’t make ANY comment on it.

STAY OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE.  This would be a prime example of why I will have NOTHING to do with you.  STOP STICKING YOUR NOSE INTO OTHER PEOPLE’s BUSINESS.

These are things I would say if she wasn’t family and my Mom wasn’t terrified it would “rip the family apart”.  Which is funny as that means it gives the obnoxious family member the opportunity to keep on bullying everyone else. 

Fuck off and stay fucked off.