Tummy Tuesday ... a day late and a buck short.

How far along?: 14 weeks and 3 days (in my 15^th week is what I keep telling everyone)

Size of the baby?: 4.5 inches – the size of an Iphone 4

Sleep?: I get about 6.5 hours a night, I end up waking up having to go to the bathroom like crazy and of course, I can’t fall back asleep when I wake up at 5am.  Bah.  I want an extra two hours of sleep a night!!!

Best moment this week?:  When my husband FINALLY cleared out the room that will become the nursery, now we can focus on painting!!!

Miss anything?: Prosciutto

Movement?: Not this week, they are back to being side by side so I am not as crammed in.

Food Cravings?: Burger King.  (Don’t judge, that’s what the babies want.)

Morning Sickness?:  Not so much now that I am in my second trimester.  If I don’t eat on time I still get a few waves of nausea, but not actually sick.

Gender?: Don’t know yet, hopefully week 18 we will!

Bed Rest?: Not yet.

Limitations?: Feeling frustrated I can’t lift too much.  I am having a huge sciatic nerve flare up.  Apparently, this is common in the second trimester, and supposedly goes away later in the pregnancy.  I bent over to pick up some laundry and my butt seized up with a weird ache.  I sat for a while on the floor and then couldn’t use my left leg.  Did some yoga and had a sharp stabbing pain shoot down my leg.  Oh joy.

Pregnancy Symptoms?: Other then feeling huge and the sciatic nerve, I am doing alright.

Wedding Rings?: Still on, maybe I can get a few more weeks out of them.

Looking forward to?:  Painting the nursery and setting things up.

Weight Gain?: 15 pounds overall.  This is right on par with my BMI and having twins, so I am not too worried.  I am hoping by delivery day to be up 36 to 40 pounds (babies included in that weight) as it is really important in twins that I gain throughout so they can be of an optimum birth weight.  I know a baby can survive at 2 pounds, but they will be far better off if I can aim for 5 to 6 pounds each.)  I hate when women say they were at their heaviest the day the delivered.  You have a baby inside you!!!  You also have placenta and 1.5 times more blood then normal, this will eventually leave your body.  Bah.  Frustrates me.

Oh another thing that frustrates me is the stupid shit people have said to me and my husband:

1.       Everybody and their brother feel the need to point out how tired I will be when the babies come.  Thanks.  I know that.

2.       Everybody and their brother also feel the need to share every horror story possible about their birthing experience, or a friend or relative, how the mother of the baby almost died etc.  Thanks.  I am already the biggest worry wart as it is.

3.       I was asked by an acquaintance, who clearly must have thought he was being funny, if the babies were my husband’s.  OF COURSE THEY ARE.  Who’s else would they be?!?!?!

4.       I was talking to another acquaintance, and she was telling me of her struggles to get pregnant, to which another male acquaintance said to her “She (pointing to me) made two of them, what’s wrong with you?” He then turned to me and said, “You’re having two, you should give her one.”  Seriously!?!?!  I am most angry at myself because in situations like that I am so dumbfounded, I am like did I just hear that correctly?  I miss any opportunity for a witty comeback or an opportunity to tell the person to fuck off.  The poor girl just giggled nervously/politely.  I felt so bad for her.  Infertility is not a joke, why do people feel the need to make fun of someone for it?  Both of my sisters struggle with infertility, I know I am very blessed.  Bah.  Stupid idiot.  In addition, just because I am having two doesn’t mean I am going to give one away.

5.       It pisses me off when people think it’s ok to ask if “it was planned.”  I almost was expecting that question from older people who might not realize that question now a day is not appropriate, but two young women asked me, they are in their early twenties.  I feel it’s such an invasive question like asking me how much do I make?  Or what kind of sex positions we used? And they were acquaintances who asked.  (For the record, YES they were planned, we tried for two months.)

6.       I also had my first weird comments in regards to my weight loss.  I have read other bloggers mentioning that they have had friends or acquaintances seemingly have an issue with their weight loss.  I had an acquaintance, who is also struggling with her weight say to me “Well now you don’t have to eat healthy.”  I didn’t think much of that other then, that’s kind of dumb.  Then she said to me, “You don’t look pregnant, you just look like you are gaining weight in your midsection.”  (Funny, cause everyone else is pointing out how round and pregnant my giant belly is looking)  She then said “Oh is this why you were trying to lose weight?”  To which I said “Yes, I had talked to my doctor about family planning and he said it was easier to get pregnant at a healthy weight and it was healthier in the long run.”  Her reply was “I got pregnant at this weight.”  She was the one who asked me, I didn’t think I said anything bad.  (I am not an expert, but I would say she is bordering morbidly obese.)  Again, I thought that was a little weird, but then I started to think back to other comments she has said to me in the past about my weight loss and making comments about the food I am eating.  If I refused a baked good, there was always a comment of “You have to be kidding me, it’s just one.”  It’s more the tone that seems to be the issue.  Maybe I am being overly sensitive but it’s weird.  I am just going to avoid her from now on.

7.       When people who annoy you (see #6) ask you EVERYTIME they see you “OMG, AREN’T YOU EXCITED!!!”  Of course I am excited.  However, if you annoy me, there is a good chance I don’t want to you about my happy time, so I just brush you off.  After #6 asked me that about five times in a row, she finally said to me “You don’t seem that excited.” I replied “I am excited, I am just not talking about it every waking second.”

8.       I have had my first “You look big” comment.  Of course I do.  I have two people growing inside me.  Let’s get real people, I am going to be big, no sense stating the obvious.

9.       My husband had a funny statement made to him yesterday by a co-worker.  She said to him.  “I hear you’re having twins.”  He replied “Yup.” To which she said, “Well, I guess your not shooting blanks.”  He said he just kind of stood there and he asked me “What do you say to that?  …Thanks?”  Lol.  I am glad I am not the only one having weird stuff said to me.

Tummy Tuesday

So I am back.  I am sorry I have been pretty much AWOL for the last few months.  But I have exciting news!  I am pregnant!  With Twins!  Yes, two lil’ peanuts!  My husband and I tried for two months and bam!  Pregnant.  We are very blessed.  I know it doesn’t come that easy sometimes for people.  I have twins in my family.  My Dad had two sets of twin uncles on his maternal side and a set of twin cousins also on his maternal side.  I kept saying to my husband, “I feel like there are two in there.”  I don’t know how I knew that, I have no prior experience to base that feeling off of. 

I am 13 weeks this week!

I am borrowing Tummy Tuesday from Lora at http://www.raisingsteppesisters.com/2013/07/tummy-tuesday-7.html.  Sorry there is no photo.  I was super late today and running behind.

Sleep? No  problems yet.  Unless you call falling asleep every night on the couch as soon as I am done eating dinner. 

Best moment this week? Telling all of our friends and extended family. 

Miss anything?  Subs.  (Can’t have sandwich meat for risk of lysteria.)  And medium rare steaks.  Only well done cooked meat for this lady and her bambinos. 

Movement? The babies were originally side-by-side.  Hence why we have been calling them Lefty and Righty.  Then last week, when we went for hear the heartbeats again; they were on top of each other on the left side.  Righty is lying on top of Lefty.  This makes sitting a bit awkward, as they are crammed on the left side.  (I know, I know, it’s just going to get worse.)  However, even though I am at 13 weeks, I can feel them moving, more specifically the one on the bottom (Lefty) as Lefty is being crammed into the corner.  It’s pretty crazy feeling it.

Size of the baby? 3 inches, the size of a peach

Food cravings? French fries, Baby Ruths and Hot fudge sundaes.  These kids know how to party.

Gender? Don’t know yet.

Bed rest? Not yet, I am warned that it can be more common now that we are having twins.

Limitations? I am starting to get energy back, so other then no heavy lifting, not really.  Oh and no hockey.  I had to fake a wrist injury as soon as I found out I was pregnant so I could avoid playing and get my money back.

Wedding rings? Still on.  When I had lost weight, my fingers ended up with extra room, maybe another month or two I will be singing a different tunes. 

Looking forward to?  Getting the nursery set up.  And of course, MEET THEM!!!

I can't promise I will be posting regularly, I am still pretty tired and haven't had much energy to do anything.  But I read everyone's blogs still!  I swear, I just have not had time to sit down and actually write something!

When People Dump on Mother's for Working Out or Taking Time for Themselves

I am writing this in reference to a post that one of my favourite bloggers posted the other day.  This particular blogger is a healthy living blogger that I am sure many people are familiar with; she had two children and lost sixty pounds.  I know people take a risk when they post about their lives.  Not everyone is going to agree with what they have to say.  I am just surprised by the reaction that some readers have and how angry and vehemently they come swinging at the blogger.  The comments in particular I am referring to are the ones where she is attacked for making time for working out and “abandoning” her children while she does so.  People keep slamming her for getting up early in the morning to workout, before her children wake up.  They used to slam her for making time to workout before she picked them up from daycare before she made the switch to morning workouts.  I guess my concern is there are many different way to parent.  There is no “right way” to parent.  Every child is different, every family is different.  If a child is well taken care of, well fed, loved and in the care of a trustworthy adult, I don’t really see the child as being abandoned. 

I know there is the argument that this blogger works and makes time for herself to workout.  She now works out in the morning, before the kids get up.  I saw comments where the “haters” were saying “they were sure the kids were awake and alone in the house.”  Really?!?!  How can you be sure of that?    A 3 year old and a 1.5 year old alone in a house?  They are with their Dad.  When the blogger gets home from the gym they are still sleeping and sometimes she exercises outside.  With a baby monitor.  I didn’t realize it was a crime to step outside your house into your own yard while your kids were sleeping.  If the parent is on the front step and have a baby monitor, isn’t this acceptable?  My neighbours do it; I think they look like great parents.  Their kids have yet to have any major accidents or lose a limb.   

One particular comment seemed to strike a chord with me and I have thought about it the last few days.  So much so, the comment itself more or less inspired this rant of mine.  The person made a comment to the blogger she is a stay at home mom and that she doesn’t get any “Me Time” that all of her “Me Time” she spends with her kids, because she wants to spend it with her kids.  (There are always many comments made to this blogger along these lines) I grew up with a stay at home Mom.  My Mom is amazing.  She definitely made us the centre of her life.  She loved spending time with us.  She still made a little bit of time just for her during the day.  And as children we never felt like we got the short end of the stick when she did so.  I remember her setting us up with some toys in the living room and my Dad watched TV as we played, my Mom would go off to the bedroom to read.  We were allowed to go see her; it wasn’t like she locked the door or anything.  I know my Dad enjoyed seeing us play, he looked forward to seeing us after he came home from work.  I would never, ever hold it against my Mom for taking a half hour or an hour to read, for herself.  My sisters and I grew up well adjusted, we aren’t in therapy because my Mom didn’t spend all 24 hours a day falling all over us, only 23 hours instead.  I guess I am just trying to say we weren’t deprived because Mom took a bit of time for herself.  There is no “right way” to parent. 

While I am on my rant, maybe we were very fortunate as kids: my Dad liked to spend time with us!  He worked outside of the house and my Mom stayed in.  He missed us while he was at work.  My Mom didn’t have to be the only parent.  I am also surprised by comments made to the blogger as if all of the parenting falls on her head.  My parents worked as a team.  While my Mom stayed home with us, I always felt it was because three kids in daycare would cost more then her pay cheque if she worked, I never felt like she stayed home because she was “the woman.”  My parents are both in their sixties now, from a previous generation; I am just surprised by some of the comments made by this generation, that it’s the woman’s job.  My parents felt it was important for us kids to have a relationship with BOTH parents.  I always felt I grew up with great role models, that even though we had a stereotypical household, it wasn’t made to feel that my Mom was solely responsible for us.  Does that make sense?  I always felt like my parents worked as a team.

I always get this feeling that these comments to the blogger come with such anger from the commenters.  Like they hate her for taking time for herself.  I wonder if it’s jealousy?  Frustration with their own lives or body image?  Jealous the blogger lost the weight that they struggle to do?  Jealous the blogger is juggling to try and make it all work?  I don’t know.  I just can’t figure out why they call her out on it all of the time.  They call her out for working out.  When I have children, I want to be a healthy example for them.  I want to be healthy for them.  I want to be healthy so I can stay on this planet as long as possible to spend time with them.  I wonder if they commenters ever think along those lines.  It’s like they get so miffed and it’s said with such an air, like they are better then her. 

I think being a Mom must be the hardest job in the world.  I watch friends with kids and the “advice” they get from other parents, or people who don’t have kids.  Maybe people could stop and say “You’re doing a good job.” Instead of being so quick to cut people down.  You may not choose to raise your kids in a certain way but if your friend’s child is happy, fed and loved, and not in any weird danger, just because it’s not your way doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  I will finish with the clichéd “Why can’t we all just get along?”