Dear Lefty and Righty

I am currently 21 weeks and 3 days pregnant with twins.  We found out we are pregnant with a boy and a girl!

Lefty is a girl and Righty is a boy.

I am jumping on the bandwagon of writing a letter to my kids.  I will write to them at around age 15.  

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Dear Lefty and Righty, (I know your names, I am just not certain if I will change them upon meeting you in a few months so I will stick with your in utero monikers)

I hope you are reading this letter on your 15^th birthdays.  I don’t know you in person yet, well I guess I kind of do, you are in utero as I type this.  I hope I am still here with you both, having a chance to know you both and what your personalities are like.  (Honestly, this breaks my heart to think what if I am not with you at this time.  Please rest assured, I will fight tooth and nail to be with you both.)  I am so in love with you both right now I am actually surprised I can feel this strong about two little people I haven’t met yet.  I am so excited to have you both.

So far, if your personalities will reflect what you were like in utero, Lefty, my daughter, is the wild child.  She has been moving and fluttering the longest.  I felt flutters from you at week 11 when your brother crowded over on your side.  Righty I didn’t feel until week 18, when you gave me a giant kick and later that week you somersaulted.  (Incredibly weird feeling, but very cool at that)  I feel you must be like your Daddy: quiet, but when you have something to say it’s important.  Your Daddy and I watched in the 20-week ultrasound, Lefty haul off and kick Righty.  Don’t beat up on your brother Lefty!  However, I hope this means you will kick any boy’s arse that double-crosses you in the future.  The ultra sound technician said that Lefty didn’t stop moving the whole time.  (That’s why your ultra sound photo at 20 weeks looks like a Mexican Wrestler, the technician couldn’t get a side shot as you moved so much.)  I hope you are a busy little girl with lots of spunk! 

As I don't really know you yet, here’s some little helpful hints I hope may help you as you enter adulthood:

SAVE YOUR MONEY.  Get a credit card but call them immediately and limit you credit limit to $500.  (I know you don't have to worry about this until you are 18, but lock it away in your head for later!)  You will not ever need $5,000 or $10,000 sitting on a credit card.  It will be far too tempting to buy a little thing here or there and the next thing you know you are maxed out every month.  If you don’t listen to this, then don’t be afraid to call your bank and consolidate your debts.  The bank’s interest is much lower then a credit card company.  When you buy a house, don’t be afraid to negotiate a cheaper mortgage rate.  Create a budget and stick to it.  (God, I hope you both like math!  It will be a great asset!)

Learn to cook.  Start now.  Don’t rely on someone else to do it for you.  Learn a few dishes and do them well, the rest will come in time.  Learn to make a pot of chilli and freeze it, you can always have a healthy, home cooked meal on hand.  Have treats every now and then, just don’t live on fast food..  As the French say “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”  Exercise a few times a week.  (Find something you love, don’t do an exercise because your friends do it.  If you hate it, you won’t want to do it.)  Eventually it will catch up to you, trust me!  Learn to clean up and tidy the house at least once a week.  Vacuum, clean your toilets and shower stalls.  Wash dishes immediately after you use them and make your bed when you get up.  That way it’s not hanging over your head when you return for the evening.  Put things away as you use them, saves time in the long run.  Fold your laundry as it comes out of the dryer.  If you save folding for a later date, it won’t happen.  Trust me.  Your Dad and I spent the first five years living together picking clean laundry out of a pile on the floor. 

Bathe daily.  If you sweat after you shower or bathe, bathe again.  And brush your teeth.  At least three times a day.  And floss.  Nice teeth, good breath and good hygiene in general go a long way, especially with a perspective partner.  Don’t smoke.  Nothing is more unattractive then someone with a phlegmy cough, it’s so gross.  And expensive.

Love yourselves.  Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the positives in your life.  Don’t talk down to yourself.  Believe in yourself.  You can do anything you put your mind to.  Stay true to yourself.  Don’t be someone you are not.  You can only be you.  As you both grow up, I hope you both become strong individuals.  Don’t let people treat you like a door mat.  And don’t treat others as door mats either.  Stand up for what you believe in.  Stand up for yourself and stand up for others.  Don’t let that be a regret in life that you should have helped someone.  Help them. 

When you pick a life partner, pick someone who loves you for you, someone who loves you at your worst and doesn’t want to change you.  Pick a partner to be a partner with, not someone to stand in front of or behind.  Marry your best friend.  Do NOT put up with abuse, they will NOT change, you CAN'T change them.  Don’t let people be mean to you, you are worth so much more.  As I said before, don’t be a doormat, but don’t treat your partner like one either.  Help your partner, and they will help you.  Stand up for your partner, and they will stand up for you.  Love your partner unconditionally, and they will love you too.  Don’t talk down to them.  Don’t swear at each other.  Don’t call each other names.  But communicate.  Don’t let small things build up and boil over.  Say I am Sorry, and mean it.  Talk things out ahead of time.  Marriage can be summed up: love, communication, compromise, and a little bit of work.  It shouldn’t be hard work, if it is, something needs to be addressed.

When you go to bed at night count your blessings.  Say your prayers.  Work hard, but leave time for play.  Enjoy your family, your friends, your pets.  Be friends with each other.  Don't let months go by without talking to one another.  You are the only siblings you have.  Always have a dog and or a cat.  Do yoga.  Swim.  Go camping.  Go fishing.  Jump in the puddles!  Don’t wait for your life to begin, you have the control over your destiny, make a bucket list, work towards your goals.  When you decide to go to school, or pick a career: do something you LOVE, not just something you are good at.  Do a co-op before hand to see if you really like the job.  Don’t pick something just because it’s easy, pick something that you will wake up in 30 years time, and say, I LOVE what I do.  Help others if you can, it may be the most rewarding of your decisions. 

Take the road less traveled.  Just wear your seat belt and bring snacks.  And a jacket.  And socks.  And don’t forget your camera!  (You may want to bring a knapsack for everything. ALWAYS BE PREPARED!!!  I was not a girl guide, but this has long been my motto)

 

As Robert Frost’s beautiful poem says,

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

Man, I hope I get to do those things with you.  I will be proud of you both no matter what.  I am madly, deeply, hopelessly, in love with you both.  I will be madly, deeply, hopelessly in love with you FOREVER.  Every time you move, I get excited knowing you are both on your way.  I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you both, and I will do everything in my power to do what I can to make sure you know you are loved and help you have fun along the way.

Love Mommy (aka the lady who’s bladder you keep kicking.)